LGBT Families Day - Why Am I a Mother? Because It Is So Glamorous!

Just found out that it is Blogging for LGBT Families Day. So, what to say about our family....

Becca and I were a family sometime in the late-90's. When that day happened I can't tell you. Maybe it happened in stages, like the way livers regenerate cells every 7 years. It certainly took less than 7 years for us to integrate fully as a family. There was the first date, in a cafe on a busy corner in Berkeley, January 1996. There was that first week, the first month, the first vacation with her extended family, the first year, the break-up, the getting back together, the second year, the proposal, the first wedding. There have been 3. But that's another post.

So, if I were to nail down a time when we were a "family", it was sometime between my decision to commit, fully, to who we would be together, and a marriage proposal on day 5 of a 10 day 100 mile backpacking trip in the Sierras. We were already a family, the two of us. And then the wedding, which we did in 1999 without expectation of state sanction, on the third anniversary of our first date in that cafe. And that wedding sealed forever our undying commitment to this life together. We knew nothing would stop us from having children, which was what both of us wanted passionately.

After years of me trying to get pregnant - turns out one uterus in the family would not cooperate - then half a year exploring the foster care system, which was definitely a great option, but we weren't about to wait around for the system to work for us. They didn't call us back until Becca was 6 months pregnant with Owen. For those uninitiated in the adoption/foster care process, the state will not put a child in the care of a family expecting a baby.

So anyway, turns out the second uterus was in working order. Almost ten years between that first date and Owen's birth. All the waiting and hoping and paperwork and trips to the sperm bank and those confused employees at the gas station who sold lesbians the dry ice every month - month after month. Years of explaining to people why we, inexplicably, might want to become parents. And then, there was Owen, his beet red face emerging on the cold November morning, pissed off and spectacular.

And we were a family of three. And then Amelia, 21 months later - equally pissed off, equally spectacular. Then there were 4 of us. And 2 and a half years later, I am sitting on the sofa with the kids watching Cyberchase. Becca's making turkey burgers in the kitchen. I'm in love with my family. I'm in love with my life.